What to do about the blog?

I think it might be time to amalgamate my 2 blogs since I am not actively trying to naturally fall pregnant and the chances of us undergoing IVF is slim to none. I think the only way we are going to have a baby in our lives is through adoption or via family and friends. Last night I had a bit of a tear, my sister in-law told me about one of her friends, Ms R’s sister in-law finally having a live birth. Ms R’s sister in-law has had 5 miscarriages and a still borne. This time they put a stitch in and didn’t take it out until after she had a c-section. Last time they took it out the baby was still borne so no chances this time. It has taken them 23 years to have a live baby. Its fantastic. When Ms R turned up for my niece, Miss C’s birthday last night she was telling us about it and then she looked at me and said. ‘And all I could do was think of you’ That got a bit of a tear up I can tell you. I then went on to say, well I think it is a lost cause and that’sit for me, the then jumped on the band wagon of never give up hope and my sister in-law wants a niece or nephew. Just don’t think it is naturally going to happen. I do believe that since we can not save money to save our own lives, then IVF is out of the picture. It just isn’t going to happen. The sooner I get my head around this, the happier D and I will be.

Of course in my heart of hearts I really want this thing to work, these magic multivitamins but I can’t see it. Maybe if I had never heard the doctor say D’s semen was incompetent then maybe I would have a hope, if only when we IVF they didn’t have to do ICSI, I could have some hope, but if they can’t swim into the egg in the small confines of the petri dish, what hope does my eggs have in my tubes? 

Anyway, I have received heaps of papers to do for the adoption, I then think is it all worth this crap we have to go through to get a baby that we then have to share with the birth mother anyway. I do wish that closed adoptions were still around! (sorry to any adoptees that may be reading, I know you like to know who your birth parents are but I am selfish and want the baby all to my self)

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