So today there has been some movement on our application for infant adoption. Finally feel like we are getting some where.
As for this cycle, well we have done everything I think we could. As you know we really don’t have a plan as such, just baby dancing when we can, taking our vitamins religiously, I did pee on a ovulation stick and think the baby dancing should have been on time, but I don’t think that the vitamins would have done any magic yet.
I did also buy a fertility charm from a lady in the UK who practices magik and have just recently gotten her to make me a bracelet which I am yet to receive which she has made to order and she as even made something for D to wear as well although think that will be a bit hard to get him to do. He really isn’t a ‘believer’ but is happy to indulge me in some things but this will be a bit over the top for him. Today is day 24 in our cycle and I really do not know when to expect AF since she was really strange last month with her 36 day cycle. Anyway, not expecting a miracle but happy to just let it go with the flow and just be happy to be able to relax and get back to just being happy with D and our fur babies. Its funny really, some times I am sitting on the couch and I look at him and think, could I just be happy with US, and the answer is sometimes at least, YES. Other times it feels unbearable to know that it may never happen for us. Do others go between these 2 evils? I sometime think that the only reason why we want children is because some greater God won’t let us. And of course we don’t like anyone telling us we can’t have something we think we want.
Awww, sweetie, I’ve been there too..back and forth. I think it’s pretty normal. Hang in there! Keep us posted!!
Have you read the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” yet? I’m not sure what your situation is, but that book is seriously awesome. I read it in about a week, and I learned so much about my body and my cycles it was amazing. I realize not everyone fits its descriptions for various reasons, but I recently lent my copy to my next door neighbor who has PCOS, and she loves the book too. We both love how it told us things we thought we weird about ourselves are actually normal.
Good luck with this cycle. I hope things work out for you.
P.S. I think that it is perfectly normal to go back and forth between wanting a family and being okay with it just being you and hubby. I think its normal to feel that way multiple times every month too. It must just be part of life as an infertile. We need to feel okay with our lives just being us and our spouse just in case we never get to be parents, otherwise we could never be happy. As humans, we strive to be happy, and we figure out what it takes to be happy.
That’s about all any of us can do, take good care of yourself and keep your fingers crossed. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you as well.
Glad you are finally making some head way with the infant adoption & glad you are back in the bloggosphere!